Already October is upon us people and it is my favorite month out of the twelve. Here in the Northeast, the leaves are starting to change, giving us a magnificent tapestry of color for our eyes to feast upon. The air is brisk and, for my money, women look amazingly sexy during this time year. It’s probably the Fall fashions. While I appreciate the more scantily-clad summer styles, something about how a woman dresses in the Fall drives me nuts. That might be a hold over from spending my childhood in Amish country.  

I always associate October with my mother’s apple pie--which to this day is the greatest apple pie I have ever tasted--and of course playoff baseball. What could be more American than forcing apple pie down your throat while sitting on the couch watching overpaid athletes participate in the greatest sporting event ever? That’s right. There is nothing more exciting that post season baseball. It’s like the World Cup, the Olympics and an Eight is Enough marathon all rolled into one, only better. Where else do you get to watch fat, middle-aged, white men dress in baseball uniforms and occasionally pick their noses in glorious high def?

To honor this amazing tradition, I present the first annual Timlaska’s MLB Playoff breakdown. This year looks to be a very exciting post season. The Chicago Cubs are in the playoffs and many see them as the favorite. The Cubs historically suck and have not won a World Series in a hundred years. Little known fact: John McCain was the batboy for that team. Also for the first time in fourteen years, the New York Yankees will not make the post season. The Yankees have the highest payroll of any team in Major League Baseball and it’s good to see the American pastime has taken the same approach to success as the American financial markets. There really is nothing more American than baseball!

Let’s start with the National League: in the wild card round we have the Chicago Cubs vs. The Los Angeles Dodgers. The Cubs seem to be a ball club that is cursed to lose in the most heartbreaking ways. This year the Cubbies have one of the best teams in the league and blowing a series this early in the post season is no way to destroy your already fragile fan base. I say the Cubs take this one in four. If you are a gambling man I would take the over on L.A. manager Joe Torre nose picks, which Vegas odds makers have set at seventy-three.  

In the other wild card series, we find the Milwaukee Brewers vs. Philadelphia Phillies. Philly fans are another tortured fan base but that’s just because they live in Philly and wear sweatpants everywhere. The Brewers, or the Brew Crew as their fans call them, have two of the fattest players and 45,000 of the fattest fans in the MLB. I’m gonna have to give the edge to the Phillies. I don’t really have a reason for this since I haven’t paid a lick of attention to either of these teams as they are non-factors.

So that means it’s the Cubs vs. the Phillies in the NLCS. While the Cubs haven’t won a World Series in a hundred years, it’s been well over twenty-five years since any major sports team from Philadelphia has won a championship. The collective futility here is amazing and matched only by the Democratic Party. I don’t see the Phillies being able to keep up with the Cubs in this series. The Cubs will win the series in five games and represent the National League in the World Series.

As for the American League, I am happy to say that the Boston Red Sox are still alive and have a chance to defend their 2007 World Series title. They are taking on a very stacked Anaheim Angels team that they’ve historically owned in the post season. I see this trend continuing in the 2008 playoffs. The Angels hold up worse in the post season spotlight than Sarah Palin does under the scrutiny of Katie Couric. The other wildcard match up is the Chicago White Sox vs. Tampa Bay Rays who were formerly known as the Devil Rays but got rid of the Devil part of the name because people from Florida are religious and stupid. I see the Rays taking this in a sweep.

That means we have an ALL East match up in the ALCS, and while the Red Sox look like the better team on paper I expect the Rays to take this series. They have played better all year long. This should be a huge series for the Rays who will shatter attendance records. Sadly it will be all Red Sox fans. Rays win in six.  

So it looks like the Cubs vs. the Rays in the World Series. This should be a no-brainer, a lesser Rays team wins because the Cubs choke when it really counts. Much like Democratic candidates in the last two Presidential elections. But this year is different. The Cubs have all the pieces they need to win the series and will take it in a sweep. Congratulations Cubs fans! 2008 is your year.

Now on to the advice.

Dear Alasky,
 
I'm an old hip-hop head, I've been listening to the musical genre for years - since listening to Kurtis Blow at my friend's 10th birthday party. I bought tapes, then bought CDs, went to shows, wore fatlaces, the whole shit. Now I'm approaching my 37th birthday which by rap / hip-hop standards is like ancient for a fan. So I ask you Alasky - When is it no longer cool to enjoy / support good hip-hop? A lot of my friends stopped going to shows, stopped trying to find the good shit when it comes to hip-hop, just stopped caring.
Now I go to shows and I feel like I'm 20 years older than half the crowd - which most likely I am. But I also would've regretted missing some of the killer shows that have come through my area. I've enjoyed seeing Aesop Rock & Lif, Brother Ali, El-P with the wonderful opener Hangar 18, and Little Brother live at the Cradle in Carrboro, NC. In fact, that Hangar 18 group put on quite a good live show and one of the guys - I think his name was Alaska - was very cool to me and sold me the Donkey Show CD for like $3 which was all I had left after all the beer (I was the old dude in the Jam Master Jay shirt). But I digress . . .
Again I only seek out the good shit and usually avoid anyone with 'Lil or Young/Yung in their name, but again I ask you Mr. Alasky.
When is it too old to be an old hip-hop head?
 
thanks,
Toast, Parts Unknown

Good question. I have been wrestling with the same question myself for a while now, and the conclusion I’ve reached is that you are never too old. As long as you still enjoy yourself, that’s all that matters. It’s easy to get caught up on the age difference and feel a bit out of place, but fuck it. Just don’t expect the scene or the music to cater to you anymore.  If you find things you like, great, but for the most rap music is a youth culture and it is gonna be infused with younger ideas that you may not always agree with. That is one of the burdens of getting old. It’s also one of the blessings; you can look at things more objectively. It should no longer shake you to your very core if your favorite rapper does a song with Brooke Hogan. Enjoy what you enjoy, most people in their mid-thirties pretend to find joy in playing a round of golf and doing shit with their families. I call those people liars.  

I have a problem. The time has come for me to apply to a university, but reading your initial blog post has made me rethink the idea of actually going.

Five years ago I was an underachiever until one day I kind of woke up and became an overachiever. Ever since then I've always thought if you can't go to a top university then there's no point in going to uni at all. But these last two years were the two years in which I actually needed to get good results to go to a good uni and well..I got lazy and my results are shit.
Since I was 11, I've always wanted to be a lawyer..I watched all my friends go through the bullshit of trying to figure out what exactly they wanted to do with their lives with a smile on my face because I was always convinced I'd end up prosecuting some corrupt corporate suits who'd line my pockets with a fat sum from their bottom line. And I figured going to university was the only path I could take to get there. But now I don't even know if I wanna actually be one anymore. I've talked to people who went into the law thinking they could revolutionise it and somehow inject some kind of morality into it only to find themselves swamped with clerical work. And I guess I've become disillusioned with it too.
So I'm really at a loose end I guess. I don't know what the hell I want to do and I don’t know where the hell I want to do it. I'm reaping the bullshit I sowed, and I'm coming to accept that but I never had a contingency plan. People always talk about school not being for them..but I had the ability to achieve..I just never used it...and I really don't want to go to some second rate university. I have one more year of school..but I don't think I can turn around my results in time. Any advice?

p.s. Sorry for the long email.

W.H,(I’m assuming the UK since W.H referred to college as University)

That’s quite a conundrum you find yourself in WH. I am assuming you are about 17 years old, which is good because you have time. You don’t need to figure out your entire life in the next few months, despite what people tell you. While I understand your confusion, I wouldn’t necessarily deviate from your plans just because the road seems a little less sure. For starters, don’t let other people’s situations dictate your own. Most people find themselves in positions that are lower than what they originally hoped for because they settled for less at one point, and made it a habit. I know many people who went through law school only to find themselves at a soulless, shitty job because they needed a paycheck to pay off their law school loans. Granted, you will have to eat shit from time to time to get to where you want to go. Nobody just starts where they want to be. Even in rap music, ask anyone on Jux. We all went through it, got our asses handed to us in battles, played shows to two people, made songs that just sucked. It’s a process, you have a goal that you want to achieve, well what is that goal worth to you and what are you willing to sacrifice to get there? Most people aren’t really willing to take the risks it requires to get there so they settle and then blame the system or the world. So if that’s what you want, don’t let anything get in the way of it. You might have to take a longer route to get there, shit you might not get there for twenty years but if it’s worth it you will stay true to that course. The journey to the goal is equally and most times even more important than the goal itself.

      Now if you are convinced that you no longer want to do this, take some time and figure out what it is that you want. When I wrote about college it was a bit tongue in cheek. I don’t actually think college is bad, I think doing things just because people say you should is. It’s your life, nobody else’s, so figure out how you want to live it and what’s the best road towards achievement. People will question every decision you make. Be strong enough to tell everyone to fuck off if they get in the way of what you really want to do. It’s worth it.

The final question comes to us from our good friend William Battle from Waterbury, CT. This question marks the 5th time he has been featured in Dear Alasky and he has won the right to interview me in the next column. William’s question is:

Tim, I have been told from my friends that this pic is radical, do you think it's radical? Also is this pic I took at one of your shows a good one?

I don’t know if I would call it radical, I would say its more boss. The picture of our show is fucking radical.  

That’s Dear Alasky for this week.  Remember you can send any queries or complaints to timlaska@yahoo.com.

Until next time, Mahalo.