I have been racking my brain trying to come up with a topic to discuss in today’s Dear Alasky and honestly I’m fucking stumped. I am tired of hearing about the election and the economy. The baseball season is over and I went three out of four in my picks, unfortunately the team that lost was the team that I picked to win it all. Sorry Cubs fans, one day you will win and I hope it’s sooner than later.  

Now that I have become America’s seventeenth leading online advice columnist catering to rap fans I feel like its time to take a page from Oprah. That’s right readers its time for a few of Timlasky’s Favorite Things

(Cue the screaming and crying white women).

Unfortunately we do not have any major media sponsors so you are stuck with whatever the fuck I give you. That said I promise you won’t be disappointed and if you are tough shit.

Let’s start with the wonderful world of television. Over the past few years many of our favorite shows have either ended their run or have just turned to shit. Others such as Lost are on a long hiatus working on what promises to be another amazing season. To tide you over I recommend the following shows:

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia:

Easily the best comedy in years, it follows five miscreants as they drink, sniff glue, huff paint, and embark on some of the most incredibly stupid journeys ever put on the small screen.  Enjoy this scene from the episode Sweet Dee’s Dating a Retarded Person

Madmen:

Set in the early Sixties Madmen follows the exploits of the mysterious Don Draper the head of creative at the Madison Avenue advertising agency Sterling Cooper. The show was created by Matthew Weiner who was an executive producer and writer for The Sopranos and it has been called the best show on television by critics and fans a like. In addition to amazing acting, storytelling and style the show has a bevy of beauties that harking back to a time when women had curves and tasteful discretion was the lay of the land. Enjoy the above picture of the lovely and voluptuous Joan Holloway...

Finally, The Sons of Anarchy:

This is about a fictional motorcycle gang in the peaceful town of Charming, CA. It took an episode or two for me to really get into this show but now it is a must see. It does for motorcycle gangs what the Sopranos did for the Mafia

You can catch all the episodes here

That’s enough television for now, too much will rot your brain. Let’s move on to books. I know what you’re saying “But Alaska book learning if for queers and nerds” not true my friends, it’s also for Indians. However, we aren’t talking about math and science, we are talking about graphic novels and comics. Anyone who knows anything knows that only nerds like comics, Indians and queers are actually allergic.

The Preacher:

Created by writer Garth Ennis and artist Steve Dillon The Preacher follows the exploits of preacher Jesse Custer on his journey to find God and make him answer as to why he abandoned mankind. The book is filled with sex, violence, sacrilege and more violence. The story is layered and exciting. I recommend the shit out of it.

Y: The Last Man:

Created by Lost writer Brian K. Vaughan, Y: The Last Man is the story of Yorick Brown who is the only male to survive a plague that simultaneously kills every man on the planet. Society is plunged into chaos as infrastructures collapse and women are left to deal with their lost fathers, husbands, sons and the understanding that society is doomed to extinction. See what happens when half the earth’s population suddenly vanishes. It’s the shit.

Finally let’s finish by talking about music, I haven’t been listening to that much lately outside of the first two Iron Maiden albums which I heavily recommend. I have been spending much of my time listening to talk radio and podcasts. The two that I enjoy the most are Smodcasts by Kevin Smith and Scott Moshier and The Adam Carolla Show. Smodcast has insightful discussion on not so insightful topics and The Adam Carolla Show is chock full of good interviews and non-stop laughs. You can download both of these for free from the podcast section of iTunes.

On to the advice, and remember you can send your questions, concerns, pipe bombs and creative writing samples to me at timlaska@yahoo.com:

Who do you think has had a bigger impact on Def Jux currently, The Mighty Underdogs or Dizzee Rascal and who's style you feelin more?

William Battle, Waterbury, CT

Good ole William. Well William I haven’t heard either album yet. What I have heard of Dizzee I enjoy, but when his record dropped I was taking sometime away from the rap scene to figure some shit out. What I have heard I have enjoyed. As for The Mighty Underdogs I like the individual pieces so I’m sure the collective stew is going to be a tasty sound treat.

Dear Alasky,

We make "hip hop" music. Admittedly, this is a cliche attribute in the year Oh! 8. I feel that myself and my "crew" stand alone amongst our generation. Our music doesn't sound like anything else, but at the same time it does. It's creative, it's art, its everything we have ever heard mixed into a big steaming pot with a dash of angst. Anytime it's played for people with a drop of musical taste, they suck it up. Obsessive even. So confidence isn't the problem.

The problem is that we are starting to feel crazy. Like the last sane people standing around scratching our heads. Is my generation lost? I am 22...when you were 22 did you feel like there was no hope for your generation? I hardly ever hear a group, or artist, making something original. It's rare for me to find a cd that I can listen to for more then two days. Shit, it's hard to even make it through an entire cd now a days.

You would think making a great cd would be the answer. It's not. It's almost impossible to get it in the hands of someone with stature. I don't blame them...they need to build up walls because there are so many RETARDS running around thinking they will be the next Slug. We don't even want a hand out...or to be put on, or whatever it is kids what now a days.

What do you do after you make an DOPE album,  self release it,  put on shows by yourself, network as much as possible in Oh! 8, and your nearing the brink of insanity? Everyone says "hustle, do shows locally, you will get noticed and then comes tours". no no NO! From what I can see getting on those tours is all about nut hugging. It's not like we are going to stop...we love doing what we do. Every day, no joke, it's nothing but music. Making it, listening to it. It's not going to stop just because we don't get the attention we crave...but at some point we have to ask if we are missing the boat. Right now just seems like the perfect time...there is a heavy drought and we have the ag-wa. No lie.

Should I just fly out to El-Ps doorstep and ask him humbly to listen to the album so I can find out if I am crazy? Is my generation lost? Was I born in the wrong year? Are we too straightforward with people? Should we lie and tell people with stature that their last album was dope even though it wasn't? Should we pound a beer with a rapper in the hope he will toss us a bone two years down the road?

I know that is a million questions, but when in our situation venting just happens naturally. Last week I had this same conversation with a 9 year old kid at the bus stop. He almost called the cops on me. Help.

Botzy - Your local loco lyrical loose parts in thoughts "rapper"

Botzy my man. You are way too stressed for a twenty-two year old. The fact that you are putting out records and promoting and throwing your own shows at age twenty-two puts you way ahead of the curve. Unless you want to be on a major label nobody is going to put you on. Everyone that tells you that you have to create your own thing is telling you the truth. Putting out a cd right now, especially independently is going to get you very little traction because nobody buys cds. It’s fucked up out there. If you love music like you say you love music become friendly with the idea of beating your head against a wall and constant frustration because that’s what you have in store for the next few years. Look at all the indie labels you see out there right now. None of them are now or have ever signed people they didn’t already know. Everyone on Jux has known each other for years, same as Rhymesayers. You need to start your own network. You need to find like minded people in other cities and trade shows. Set up small runs for yourself with those people. Crash on floors. Cram into a van. Or in some cases a car. Do not expect to make any money off the first few tours. You aren’t crazy, your generation isn’t lost, you are young, filled with angst and you want the success that you see people like El, Aes, Slug, etc having. They all went through the same growing pains. Sadly if you want to make the music you want and want to have control of your career it’s the only way to go, and it’s in no way guaranteed.